If you want to use this concept to write and romantic storylines , you need to understand the hierarchy of vocalization. Moving from polite to "hardcore" creates a narrative arc.
This attitude bleeds out of the bedroom. The partner who can moan hardcore is the partner who can say, "I need help, I am drowning," at the kitchen table. The partner who can listen to hardcore moaning without judgment is the partner who can hear, "You hurt my feelings," without getting defensive.